Those of you who’ve been praying for this experience, thank you! God kept us safe and healthy throughout the trip, and we were able to see, share, and experience everything that was planned and a little more. We had a very good group with diverse eyes and ears to look for the things God is doing there. We had a wonderful time with people.

Keep praying for Nyamagabe, the World Vision staff, the sponsored children, and the many challenges the community there faces every day.

Yesterday we passed a group of young men playing soccer with a makeshift ball. Snce we brought some real soccer balls for our “kids”, Jean-Rene thought we should pump one up and give it to them. When we kicked it to them they screamed with joy, ran toward us, their faces exploding with smiles and yells of thanks. And high fives. They resumed their game with a new enthusiasm and energy.

They were willing to give us the old “ball” to show you.

Today we are off to our ADPs for more interaction with the children we support.

Fred Grossenbach
Celebrating Life

We met this evening in Kigali, and are about to catch a night of sleep before we begin our itinerary. Tomorrow we meet at the World Vision offices, then head for Nyamagabe in the afternoon.

2011 Rwanda Vision Trip Travel Team, L-R from back row: Jean-Rene, Fred, Jonathan, Colin, Barry, Doug, Sarah, Liz, David, Mike, Michaela, Lara, Abigail

I was going between rooms at home, moving stuff about and so had the TV blaring in each room, in case I had time to truly glance at TNT’s “The Prince and I.” The computer displayed six websites I was alternately perusing and the radio pumped out a mix of music my fourth and fifth grade students selected as their favorite. Relaxing, no. Productive? It felt like it, but I was missing something.

In the midst of “protecting” myself from what I may encounter in Rwanda, I need to instead prepare myself to slow down, give up the to-do lists, stop the multi-tasking madness, and shed my protective coating, part mosquito fear, part emotional separation, and for good measure, my good ole’ American stubbornness.

This Vision Tour asks me be a “learner, an observer, and a servant.” Now I just need to allow myself to be pro-exposure.

As I prepare to travel to Rwanda, I have become increasingly aware of my
inner desire to more fully understand the concept of forgiveness.

I am cognizant of the fact that I have much to forgive and much for
which to be forgiven.

At times I am an…

un-reliable friend,

un-imaginative physical therapist,

un-involved father,

un-loving husband,

un-faithful disciple,

un-believing child of God,

I am both un-forgivable and un-forgiving.

Un-forgiving of the pain caused by…

friendships that have withered from years of neglect,

personal relationships strained by selfishness,

indescribable suffering in God’s kingdom,

Un-forgiveness is an insurmountable barrier to love.

Mother Theresa once said, “If we really want to love, we must learn how
to forgive.”

I want to love, but my heart is weak.

Henri J.M. Nouwen once wrote, “Forgiveness is the name of love practiced
among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love
poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour,
increasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the
weak that is the human family.”

My humanity begs me to cling to the hurt in my life. I hate all that is
wrong in my life. When I let the pain control me, I become angry.

So, I find solace in the words of Archbishop Desmond Tutu who taught,
“To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of
self-interest. It is also a process that does not exclude hatred and
anger. These emotions are all part of being human. You should never hate
yourself for hating others who do terrible things: the depth of your
love is shown by the extent of your anger.”

Yet, I know the hurt in this world, particularly in Rwanda, is certainly
far greater than anything I have faced in my own, sheltered life. I have
not felt the sharpness of the pain inflicted with the machete. I have
not traveled to the depths of evil from which rises the anger that
causes one take a neighbor’s life.

The Bible tells us that, when Jesus was on the cross, He felt the depths
of human emotion and experienced the darkness of feeling forsaken.

He felt the piercing of the nails.

Jesus felt the stabbing of the sword.

He also felt the slashing of the machete.

My Savior even felt the crushing weight of bulldozers.

In Mirror of the Church, Emmanuel Katongole shares his experiences in
post-genocide Rwanda. He recalls, “I can never forget the day we visited
the genocide memorial at Nyange…[At the urging of the clergy]
bulldozers [had] demolished the church, killing nearly three thousand
people inside…As [our guide] explained how the bulldozers had scooped
up bodies to bury them, we realized we were standing on top of one of
the mass graves, which happened to mark the very place where the altar
had been in the church. This was holy ground. I asked [our guide] if it
would be okay for us to pray there…I found myself praying for
forgiveness from those below the altar. ‘We killed you,’ I whispered.
‘Please forgive us. You did not die because you were Christians. You
died in spite of your being Christian, betrayed by the very church you
loved and trusted.’ As I prayed to the dead and to God for forgiveness,
the words of Revelations 6:9-10 came to me…”

9 When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of
those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony
they had maintained.

10 They called out in a loud voice, “How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and
true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our
blood?” Rev 6:9-10 NIV

It is nearly unfathomable for me to think that events such as the
Rwandan genocide could ever be forgotten or that the people who
inflicted such evil on the Kingdom of God could ever be excused.

Yet, C.S. Lewis explains, “To be a Christian means to forgive the
inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

I believe that, through my faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ, God
forgives me.

God takes my hate and turns it into a special kind of love.

There are many forms of love.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, the people of Rwanda are
demonstrating one of the most mysterious kinds of love.

The Rwandan people are learning how to love their enemies.

How is this possible?

The words of Martin Luther King, Jr. provide some insight.

It was Christmas Day, 1957, and King preached on loving your enemies.

He said, “He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the
power to love. It is impossible even to begin the act of loving one’s
enemies without the prior acceptance of the necessity, over and over
again, of forgiving those who inflict evil and injury upon us. It is
also necessary to realize that the forgiving act must always be
initiated by the person who has been wronged, the victim of some great
hurt, the recipient of some tortuous injustice, the absorber of some
terrible act of oppression. The wrongdoer may request forgiveness. He
may come himself, and, like the prodigal son, move up some dusty road,
his heart palpitating with the desire for forgiveness. But only the
injured neighbor, the loving father back home, can really pour out the
warm waters of forgiveness.”

What happened in Rwanda was tortuous and terrible beyond human
understanding. The fact that the Church participated could make anyone
question or turn from his or her faith.

In A Brief Statement of Faith (10.3), the people of the Presbyterian
Church acknowledge the evil and injury caused the failures of humanity
and of the Church, but also the forgiving love of our Father. Saying…

We trust in God,
whom Jesus called Abba, Father.
In sovereign love God created the world good
and makes everyone equally in God’s image
male and female, of every race and people,
to live as one community.
But we rebel against God; we hide from our Creator.
Ignoring God’s commandments,

[Thou shall not kill.]

we violate the image of God in others and ourselves,

[Deep, physical and emotional scars cut across the faces of Rwandan
children.]

accept lies as truth,

[The lies that pit Hutu and Tutsi against one another.]

exploit neighbor and nature,
and threaten death to the planet entrusted to our care.
We deserve God’s condemnation.
Yet God acts with justice and mercy to redeem creation.
In everlasting love,
the God of Abraham and Sarah chose a covenant people
to bless all families of the earth.
Hearing their cry,
God delivered the children of Israel
from the house of bondage.
Loving us still,
God makes us heirs with Christ of the covenant.
Like a mother who will not forsake her nursing child,
like a father who runs to welcome the prodigal home,
God is faithful still.

There are countless prodigal sons of Rwanda.

In Luke 15, Jesus tells of how the father welcomes the prodigal home and
gives him his “best robe.”

In As We Forgive, Catherine Claire Larson tells of how the Rwandan
people are sewing up the wounds of genocide. You see, Rwandans have a
unique way of crafting some of their “best robes” She writes, “There is
an ancient craft practiced in Rwanda, an age-old art that has been
almost lost today. The Umuvumu trees that shade the Gacaca gatherings
[reconciliation and restitution Courts presided over by local elders]
have another purpose. Once the Umuvumu tree has matured, a small strip
of bark is cut away. Like our own bodies, the tree responds to the gash.
The Umuvumu produces a fine red matting of slender roots to cover the
wound. The ancients then treated that matting to create a cloth,
commonly called bark cloth. Historically, the bark cloth was used to
make royal clothing. Today, artisans fashion the reddish-brown fabric
into traditional African ceremonial dress [their best robes], [but also]
wallets, purses, placemats, book covers, and maps of Africa, adding
decorative detail through paint, print, or needlework. Strangely,
mysteriously, things of beauty and usefulness sometimes come from
wounds.”

Surely if the scars of Rwanda can be healed, how much more easily can my
own?

I can be forgiven… I can forgive… I can love, truly love.

Let me close by praying Psalm 25.

I like this version, the NIrV, its language speaks to Lauren.
Forgiveness is a concept I want her to learn as well.

Ps 25: A Psalm of David. (NIrV)

1 Lord, I worship you.

2 My God, I trust in you. Don’t let me be put to shame. Don’t let my
enemies win the battle over me.

3 Those who put their hope in you will never be put to shame. But those
who can’t be trusted will be put to shame. They have no excuse.

4 Lord, show me your ways. Teach me how to follow you.

5 Guide me in your truth. Teach me. You are God my Savior. I put my hope
in you all day long.

6 Lord, remember your great mercy and love. You have shown them to your
people for a long time.

7 Don’t remember the sins I committed when I was young. Don’t remember
how often I refused to obey you. Remember me because you love me. Lord,
you are good.

8 The LORD is honest and good. He teaches sinners to walk in his ways.

9 He shows those who aren’t proud how to do what is right. He teaches
them his ways.

10 All of the LORD’s ways are loving and faithful for those who obey
what his covenant commands.

11 Lord, be true to your name. Forgive my sin, even though it is great.

12 Who is the man who has respect for the Lord? God will teach him the
way he has chosen for him.

13 Things will always go well for him. His children will be given the
land.

14 The LORD shares his plans with those who have respect for him. He
makes his covenant known to them.

15 My eyes always look to the Lord. He alone can set my feet free from
the trap.

16 Turn to me and show me your favor. I am lonely and hurting.

17 The troubles of my heart have increased. Set me free from my great
pain.

18 Look at how I’m hurting! See how much I suffer! Take away all of my
sins.

19 Look at how many enemies I have! See how terrible their hatred is for
me!

20 Guard my life. Save me. Don’t let me be put to shame. I go to you for
safety.

21 May my honest and good life keep me safe. I have put my hope in you.

22 God, set Israel free from all of their troubles!

Lord, may Rwanda put her hope in you. Set Rwanda free from all of her
troubles! Teach me, oh Lord, teach us all, how to truly love.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

This is on  the heels of a very good retreat time together last weekend, getting to know each other better, thinking ahead, listening to each other, learning some songs, praying, and planning.

Much of our experience will hinge on our mental, emotional, and spiritual posture as we go. So we’re trying to assume a good posture.

We hope to use this blog to share journal thoughts, photos, and experiences along the way.

Peace!

Why do we call it a “vision trip?” Because this is not primarily a service trip where we provide services or help build something (although we’ll help briefly with a new home that’s being built). Our primary focus is to look, listen, learn, encourage, celebrate, think creatively, and come away with refreshed ideas about collaborating in this mutual partnership with Nyamagabe.